His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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