I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
