So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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