Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
