Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
