How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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