just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
