there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
