So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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