oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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