Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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