you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Drunk is a universal language darling
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