Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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