I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
