You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
