Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
