I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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