my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
