So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
