I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
