This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
