Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
