Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
