i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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