If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
