take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
