I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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