I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
