If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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