omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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