This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
