from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
