I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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