college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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