69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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