I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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