marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Found your dick twin last night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
