Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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