I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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