she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
