Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
