id be glad to
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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