i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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