So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
