real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
