i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
