Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
