Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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