Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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