We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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