They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
